Texroc’s Blog

My son asked me the other day “If someone breaks the law, does a policeman fix it?

He also asked one time what fog was. I told him it was clouds that have come down to the ground. He asked why someone doesn’t get a ladder and put them back up in the sky.

I thought that was a pretty good logical question for a 4 year old ( he was 4 at the time).

This got me to thinking of other questions that I couldn’t come up with a good answer for.

• When I am driving and looking for an address, why do I need to turn down the radio? How does less sound help me see better?
• Why do we squint when we have trouble seeing something, wouldn’t almost closing our eyes completely make it harder to see?
• How does squinting when we smell something bad help?
• How is it folks who can’t carry a note in a bucket with 2 handles (like me) sound good in the shower? (this is a general assumption here, I have not heard all of you singing in the shower)
• Just how do you draw a blank?
• If you don’t warm a Hot Pocket is it still a HOT Pocket?
• Why was the Rock-a-bye Baby in the Tree Top? That’s a strange place to rock a baby.
• How come eggs don’t taste like chicken?
• If you order French toast in France what do they bring you?
• What happens to Sour Cream after the expiration date, does it go good?
• If a Hindu sees something exciting do they ever use the phrase “Holy Cow”
• Is there a version of the Bible for color blind people to know which things Jesus said?

What are some questions that make you scratch your head, and look like a monkey doing a math problem? Leave some feedback.

There is an urban myth out there that says that casinos pump extra oxygen into the casino area in order to keep peoples energy levels up so they will spend more money.

I don’t know that this is true however I am beginning to suspect that Walmart does just the opposite and removes some of the oxygen in its store. This about the only reason I can think of as to the mental state of any one who is in there more that a minute.

First of all, have you tried asking any of the employees there a question as to where something is or if they have an item. Their first knee jerk response is to send you to a department as far away from them as possible. If you fail to leave they will then stare at you like a monkey looking at a math problem saying nothing until you leave. They must be shown films of opossums during their training sessions.

I thought at first there must be something wrong with the test they are giving prospective employees, somehow getting a result opposite of what was intended. However once looking around the store I said to myself “wait a minute…” Just look at the expressions of those that have been in there shopping for more that 1 to 2 minutes, it’s as if they have no clue why they even came in here. They begin to look miffed, irritated, then lost and confused. Suddenly they will stop in the middle of an isle and stare at a box of “nilla wafers” for 5 minutes, and you can see the deep thought they are pondering (and holding everyone up for) “Why is there no ‘V’ ?”

I began to ponder on this theory for a second when some guy hollered out “are you gonna move?” I came to and was across the store staring at cat food in the pet section, and I don’t even have a cat.

It was after I left the store and started getting oxygen back to my head, that I decided Walmart must lower the oxygen level in their store. It must keep people mulling around and buying crappy things they don’t need or can’t use…Like cat food when you don’t have a cat!

Well, starting today i will grace the world with my insightful, amusing, ponderous writings.
Or maybe I’ll just let the crazy voices in my head vent. Potato, tomato whatever…

Here is my warning: During the life of this blog I will most likely offend just about everyone at some point. Given the choice between being correct and being politically correct, I choose the former.

Right Brain:

It seems these days that being direct is rude. One is supposed to tip toe around on egg shells and be obtuse. We are supposed to do this so that someone who doesn’t share our view isn’t offended. Instead it adds confusion, misinterpretation, and distrust.

Too often an offense is easily mocked to distract from the point made. Instead of addressing the point, due to lack of ability/conviction. It is easier to claim a particular word offended them, shifting the focus to a silly thesaurus game.

In other words: When someone says” Illegal aliens are ignoring our laws and putting a back breaking strain on our social assistance programs making them unavailable to those who paid for them, therefore action must be taken now”. Don’t come back with “They are undocumented migrant workers, you racist *!* “

Left Brain:

I was wondering, do California cows ( Happy California cows according to the happy cows ad) give butter after an earthquake?
By that logic they would also give ice cream/ milkshakes during a winter frost.
If California cows are giving butter and ice cream/milkshakes it must be due to man made global warming and must be put to a stop, even if the cows are happy! In the meantime the butter, ice cream, and milkshakes must be redistributed to the inner city kids. Our studies show that a disproportionate amount of this countries dairy products are going to the rural and rich kids, a tragedy that can not be allowed to continue.

Breaking News:

Recent news about a possible redistribution of California cow dairy products has led to futures speculation. The dairy farmers are seeing record returns of about 12%.

Liberal pundits are being quoted as being happy of the dairy redistribution,(Even though studies now show that the overall consumption of dairy products by inner city kids is lower due to the higher dairy prices). “Too many overweight rural and rich kids have had to much dairy for to long, we need to be more in line with the rest of the world’s bovine dairy consumption”. Liberals are livid however that anyone is making a profit from the situation.

Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh had this to say: “When Liberals initiate a fix they want everyone to be equally miserable by it”!